Kakashi's Day Off
by Megumi Mitoko
Summary: Kakashi has never had a day off. So when the day comes when he actually gets one, will he be able to make it through it? OneShot.


**Disclaimer:** Yeah I own Naruto, Psht I wish.

**Rated:** Mature. Some of the comments and thoughts are unsuitable for some teens.

**Warnings: **There will be fowl language and some mature references. Also Sakura bashing!

**Authors Notes: **Writing parody fan fictions are fun as hell!

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

"…Day off?"

"Yes, Kakashi you and your team have worked very hard lately. As of now you all may take the day off." Tsunade said. Naruto jumped with glee.

"Day off?! Are you serious old lady?" He said with a smile on his face. Sakura scolded at him.

"Calm down Naruto."

Kakashi stared at Tsunade, Not once has he ever had a day off. _What was he supposed to do all day?_

"Thank you Hokage." He said bowing before he and the team left. As they all walked outside he looked at all three of them."According to the Hokage, we all have a day off. Spend it as you please as long as you don't bug the hell out of me."

And with that Sakura and Naruto took off. Sasuke, on the other hand, took slow steps off to the training grounds. Kakashi watched as he walked away before letting out a big sigh.

"Now what am I supposed to do?"

* * *

Kakashi walked the streets of Konoha, his hands jammed in his jacket. This shouldn't be too hard for him. I mean, He's been on plenty of dangerous A ranked missions. 

_I just have to find something to occupy myself till its time for bed...Maybe there's a new Icha Icha Paradise book out.  
_

He continue to stroll till he reached the newspaper stand. They should have a few copies if there was a new book. His eyes lit up as his eyes rolled over to a dark green colored book and he picked it up. He was overjoyed inside. He quickly paid for it and started reading it as he walked. Many people yelled at him to watch where he's going, of course, he wasn't even paying attention to them.  
_  
"Watch out old man!"_

_"Just because you're a Jounin means you can push people without saying sorry!"_

_"What the hell do you think you're doing Kakashi?!"_

_"Stop reading those porn books and read a book on manners young man!"_

_"SasuNaru forever!" _

* * *

As soon as Kakashi walked through the door to his apartment and kicked off his shoes and plopped down onto the couch. Maybe days off aren't so bad.

* * *

Two hours later 

It had only been two hours and he had already finished reading the new book and the whole series again. He was sitting on the kitchen floor with his back up against the wooden counter. He was shoveling peanut butter into his mouth with a spoon, and washing it down with chocolate syrup and ice cream. Was this how all days off are like? If so. This was indeed hell. Kakashi was about to shove some marsh mellows into his mouth when the phone rang. He let out a soft yelp of surprise and dropped all the marsh mellows onto the floor.

"Mother fucker-" He cursed under his breath but the phones ring cut him off. He stood up and burped before walking over to the phone and picking it up by the third ring.

"Hello. Hatake residence. Kakashi speaking."He said casually.

"Hey Kakashi. Just checking in, making sure you haven't killed yourself yet." Tsunade said, a bit of teasing in her voice. Kakashi rolled her eyes.

"Now what would make you think that I'd kill myself?"

"Because you've never had a day off. Don't try to act like you know what to do. I saw that worried look on your face."

"I do so know what to do on a day off."

"Really? What have you done so far?"

"Well I've read a ton of books and ..."

"...And?"

"And that's all I accomplished so far. I would've accomplished more if you haven't called me."

"Then I guess I'll just let you and you're bored out of your mind self get back to it."

And with that Kakashi hung up the phone. That sounded like a challenge. He was going to prove that he did too know what to do on a day off.

* * *

After an hour of debating on what to do he finally decided. He was going to write thank you cards for all the gifts he had received in his life so far. 

**THREE HOURS LATER**

"Mother, Thank you for that bicycle you had bought my when I was two." He read out loud as he wrote it down. He had written _at least_ one hundred thank you cards and this was only the second year of his life. He sighed tossing the cards into the trash.

_I have to find out something else to do._

* * *

_Kakashi took a seat at his computer with his hands on the key board, ready for anything to come to him. He figured since he needed some help on his creativity skills, he could write a novel. Do you even want to bother to ask what kind of novel? Kakashi sat there typing away on the computer. Only to find that it took him ten minutes just to type the word 'love.'_

___If I want to finish most of this by today, I'll have to type much, much faster._

_Kakashi continued to type, writing the whole first chapter in three hours. Wow. That's kind of...Sukey-ish. He let out a sigh of relief As he started to reread what he wrote. And to his dismay, he spelt almost every single word he had typed because he tried to type fast._

___Heheh heh heh DAMNIT! WHO THOUGHT TYPING A NOVEL WAS SO FUCKING HARD?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
_

_Kakashi let out a frustrated groan and slammed his head down onto the keyboard. Which caused the computer to shut down. Kakashi blinked and sat back up, trying to restart the computer. Sadly it looks as if he broke it somehow._

___Great, what's next? Santa Clause breaking through my window and stealing my stash of condoms so he and Mrs.Clause can play it safe?_

_He sighed before looking at the clock in the room. It read 6:30._

___I suppose I shall start dinner._

* * *

__

__Seeing as Kakashi had tons of time on his hands he decided to make a turkey dinner which included mashed potatoes, carrots, peas and tons of gravy. Of course it took a few hours and when he waited for something to do with the food, either basing or stiring something he was sitting there staring into space thinking about all three of his team. The flaws and good points of them.

_Naruto isn't very careful and makes his desicion on impulse. Although, he has come a long way._

Sasuke needs to open up a little and needs to cooperate with the rest of the team. Although, He is the best one on the team.

Sakura needs to focus more on missions and less on Sasuke. And maybe her doing something would be nice once and a while. Although, she is...Nahh.

Suddenly he heard the timer go off, meaning the turkey was done and decided to eat his food slowly, dreading to trying and find something else to do.

* * *

As Kakashi finished eating, he took another hour just washing those dishes and pans. When he finished he walked into his room and took a long shower. Of course before he could get out without any injury, he slipped on some soap and fell hard on his ass. he growled and pulled himself out of the shower and rubbed his lower back. He got dressed into some comfortable clothing and plopped into bed and cuddled into the sheets.

_I guess days off aren't that bad. Heh who the hell am I kidding?  
_

_**The End!** _


End file.
